Working Phobia

I have a working phobia. I am not happy with my work. I am not happy with my working environment. I am not happy with my superior. I noticed that I am not happy to my superior, then I started hate my working environment, then I hate to do the work that they assigned to me.

What are my problems in all the times? I have been working since March of 2003 and now May of 2006. Oh no, 3 years, I feel that I dun have any changes of my work. I hate the programming.

Last night, I was giving a lecture class from my fucking superior. Some of the points from him was right. But I am just hate him to give lecture to me.

Again, what are my problems? maybe I hate of doing the programming. That is why there are a lot of problem happen around me. So, I need to start change now.

1. Make myself love the programming
2. Make myself have a passion on work

Hope everything can be change after all this.

This is a new things that I learn from others. I should be thinking more positive. Although life is suck but you have to enjoy the bitter of life. After that, you will know how sweet it is when you grow up with all those bittest fucking shit. I should edit below in some other time. I am busy with the work, man. Busy.

Some things I've (other blogger and not me) learned during the past year...

I've learned.....
About myself:
That I need to have greater self control.
That I need to develop a greater understanding and patience with things that I may not like.
That I am accountable for my own actions and nobody else is.
That I need to see life clearly for what it really is.

About Friends:
That I have friends who have their own personalities and I need to be open to them.
That friends are the people who pull me along when I don't want to swim anymore.
That friends are willing to listen no matter how vague I am about the things going on.
That different people bring different things to a friendship.

God:
That God is good and somewhere even though I don't always see Him.
That devotionals are key to sanity and I don't know how I lived without doing them before.
That He loves me more than anyone else in the world can
That He is the best friend anyone can ask for considering how forgiving He is.
That He never gives up on me even though I have given up on myself and He will send people to make sure I don't give up.
That only quiet times will renew my walk and my focus.

Life:
That even when things look bleak, I am more appreciative of the little things and I experience joy even more.
That I need to accept responsibility for all the various things that are going on.
That disagreements, although painful, are not bad and are things to learn about myself and others.
That through thick and thin, I need to be willing to love others even when it hurts.
That the world is an ugly place and heaven is just around the corner... (no I'm not suicidal)
That college applications are a pain.
That procrastination should die.
That life is worth living even when it sucks.
That I need to enjoy the moment and be as happy as possible.
That it takes as much effort to be bitter towards someone as it would to love them even as it hurts.
And that things are not always as they seem...


I'm In Charge